In fact, the new wife made our relationship worse, but that’s another article.)Ĥ. (Later I would learn that that didn’t happen. If my ex was happy in his own life, maybe our relationship would improve. While the marriage would affect my children and therefore affect me indirectly, for the most part, his new life was for him to experience, and not for me to think about.Ģ. Time to get over it, Jackie! What he was doing was perfectly acceptable and normal. I felt left out, sorry for myself, and insecure.Īll that said, here is what started to happen in the weeks following my absorbing this monumental change.
He was going to give our kids a sense of family, while I was Ann Romano.
He was now going to expose my kids to the Brady Bunch type atmosphere, while I was still the single mom (and in a not-so-great relationship at the time). In other words, I felt he didn’t deserve it. I was still harboring anger from the marriage that I hadn’t really dealt with yet, so I was pissed off that he was experiencing any happiness. If he ends up happily ever after that’s great for my kids. I went to counseling for this and here’s what I was told: A. Where was the justice in all of this? Was he going to end up living happily ever after with someone else, bringing to his new marriage all the lessons he learned from the mistakes we made in our marriage? Would she reap the benefits of the improved divorced guy? If so, that was so unfair! Although, there are some women who rush into second marriage.īut aside from realizing my ex actually must have liked marriage (just not with me) there were so many emotions that I would experience in the hours and days following.įirst off, I felt angry. I think that men who have been married before (and therefore enjoy commitment and monogamy) really want to be married again, which is why so many of them get engaged three seconds after they are divorced(and I don’t mean that in a mean way.) I find that most women, on the other hand don’t mind waiting. I bet if someone did a measurable study, the conclusions would reveal that more men get remarried than women. But this just seemed very permanent, and took the finality of the divorce to a new level. Not that I ever thought he still had hopes for us. My myriad of questions would turn into days and days of trying to absorb something I already knew, but now had concrete evidence of: my ex had MOVED ON. When did this happen? How long had the ring been on her finger? Did the children know their dad was getting married? Were THEY trying to hide it from me? When was the wedding? When were they moving in together? “My ex is getting remarried and it hurts!!” In an attempt to make me feel better she replied, “Maybe it’s her grandmother’s.” We both knew that wasn’t the case. I turned to one of my best friends, who was sitting next to me and said, “See So and So’s left ring finger? Does that look like an engagement ring to you?” My friend slowly and casually turned to get a look at the ring, and turned back to me. Keep in mind, I had been divorced for about four years at the time, but still, it was shocking for some reason. Her left ring finger caught my eye (or maybe subconsciously I was looking) and I saw a diamond.įor the first couple seconds I was having trouble breathing. I happened to glance over at his girlfriend, who was sitting next to my ex-mother-in-law, the two seeming as chummy as ever. I was sitting in the bleachers watching my son’s 5th grade basketball game, happily cheering him on. I’ll never forget where I was when I found out my ex was getting married. There is also anger, bitterness, and jealousy–why does he get the happy ending and I don’t? And, an evaluation/reflection of your own life and what might not be working. I don’t care how much time has gone by or how long a person has been divorced, when you find out your ex is getting married, not only does it hurt, but it is a true shocker, and there are many feelings associated with it, including the feeling of injustice–like unfairness. Not because I wanted to get back together with him, but because of many other emotions stirring around in my head. My ex is getting married and it hurts like hell!! That’s what I wanted to shout several years ago when I found out my ex was engaged.
0 kommentar(er)
